Help a little girl find a home

And get a chance to win an iPod. Follow the link to the site, read Olga's story, and follow the directions for a chance to win an iPod touch. http://babynumber10.blogspot.com May Olga find a loving, godly home by Christmas!

Brokenness

Darkness came, and happiness died
Even hope seems not enough
To keep me from hating life
I just wish I could run and hide

Never enough, I’m never enough
For anyone’s hopes and dreams
Why can’t I just this once
Be good in someone’s eyes

Even the sun seems dark
When compared to the light
The light that was in your eyes
Why must I always be alone

My heart breaks and my bones ache
For some shred of happiness
Yet it never comes
Tears come and go, but pain stays

Surrounded by darkness and empty feelings
Why does everything I love have to leave
Broken I sit here writing these words
Rhyme or prose means nothing to me anymore

Hope for a future seems so dim
For I am not worth waiting for
Why would perfection wait for brokenness
Why would she wait for me.

Dear Rose

Your love is like a rose,
So beautiful and strong.
But if I do not water it,
It cannot last as long.

Hear me! Oh, dear rose.
I know that you love me,
It's not that I do not love you,
I just feel so unworthy.

Unworthy of your precious love.
Unworthy of your grace.
Unworthy of your very presence.
And of your smiling face.

But you have found me worthy,
Though I cannot see why?
You love every part of me,
Even parts I wish would die.

Beside you I will stand.
And for you I will fight!
I pray that every single day,
You'll be in my sight.

An Untitled Psalm

I have always admired King David, especially his Psalms. I think for me, I love music so much, I can relate to feeling like the best way to express yourself to God is through songs. I also love how honest, and broken he is with his lyrics, so I wrote this and it had a psalm vibe to it, so I call it

"The Untitled Psalm"

In my darkest hour,
In my time of need.
I call upon the Lord,
And fall down at His feet.

You guide me with your rod.
You bruise me with your staff.
So break me everyday,
With your love and not your wrath.

Please pull me from this pit,
For I can't get away.
And place me in your arms,
There forever I may stay.

Personification

Ok, so I have this friend, who is an amazing writer. And she does this thing, where she personifies something abstract. Like love, or purity, or wisdom. It's really cool! Well, this is my attempt at the same thing. I call it "Fear"

Fear

Fear is an old, distant friend. He use to visit me often, but he hasn't been around in years. He use to bother me so much. He would make it hard to be asleep, and he always bothered you when you were alone. His two best friend Pain and Suffering were always close by. Although I haven't seen Fear in quite some time, his friends like to stick around. They are like a constant shadow in my life. They give a false sense of comfort in their presence. Like a strange but sweet comfort? Sometimes you feel they'll never leave, then Grace and Peace come for a visit, and Pain and Suffering leave in a hurry.

These Walls (with addition)

These walls that took so long to build
Quickly come crashing down.
Once up so tall and strong,
They now lie broken on the ground.

How can I forget what once was?
When I’m reminded of what it’s become.

I felt your pain and misery.
You know all my insecurities.
You had the opportunity.
Were you just using me?

Now I know what it means to be free.
These walls were never meant to be.


These walls have all been rebuilt.
Now they are stronger than Ever!
Where I was once so weak,
Now I am ready for these endeavors

How can I forget what I once was?
When I look back at what I've become.

You felt the pain and misery.
I know all of your insecurities.
We had the opportunity.
Can't we be in Harmony.

Now you know what it means to be free.
These walls were never meant to be.

Writing

Well, I haven't written in a long time. Not only on here, but writing in general. BUT, I have been inspired by a great friend to start writing again. The first thing I am going to post is the second half of the song "These Walls" so keep an eye out for that.

Well, My parents went to go pick up the moving truck today, and to drop off our dog to his new home. It's a little eerie here all alone. Every time I see something, I feel so weird thinking in 3 days, I'll never see it again...well maybe never, but never again as MY home. It's hard to put in words, I'm not really an emotional person, like, I'm not sad? it's just weird...idk how to put it. So as i sit here with Air1.com blasting through the house so it's not so empty...I think back at all the memories i've made in this house. How many new friends i made while i lived here. How different life would've been had i NEVER lived here. What life's gonna be like with my parents 3,000 miles away. I feel like writing a song, but the words are just out of my grasp. so, i'll just keep writing this blog, that no one reads...so this is to YOU Phillip Arthur Munshausen III It doesnt matter if anyone else will ever read this blog, cause this is for you to express what you feel, when you're not really sure how. and to anyone who might stumble onto this page...My you know that there is a God who loves you. Who sent HIS son JESUS to die for your sins, and all you have to do is accept his wonderful gift, of Eternal life. And I leave you with this...Let go, and Let GOD!

The Big Move!

In case you guys hadn't heard. My parents were offered, and accepted a job for ACE Ministries. They will be working as Home School Representatives, trying to sell ACE's curriculum to families who home school. This is part of the area they will be covering. For sure we know that they will cover Georgia, Florida, and Alabama. But they may also have Mississippi, Arkansas, and South Carolina. The blue dot-thingie, is where they are planning to live.





Valdosta - Google Maps



As you may know, I want to move to Oregon, but this just complicates things further. I figured I would have my parents living in CA when I first moved, so I could have somewhere close by where I could keep most of my stuff until I find a place to live. But with them moving ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!!! I don't know what to do, then of course they want me to go with them. I am so confused right now, it's tough, cause none of these decisions are easy. No matter what I choose to do, I will be away from Family. This is a very tough decision, and I would ask anyone who reads this to pray for me! To add to the confusion, I JUST got my insurance in CA to get my knee worked on, so if I want my knee to be fixed I am going to have to stay in CA until I get it fixed. :[ And since my knee isn't fixed, I haven't gotten a job, so I'm broke, and couldn't move if I wanted too. Double :[

well, i will talk to you guys later .

Anger

There is this little thing called anger. Anger is like a ninja, it influences those around it, and by the time you notice it....it's too late. Why is it that when something upsets you, you don't realize that you're so upset. But then something little, almost unbelievably small sets you off? Usually you would keep your calm, and just not let it bother you, but this time.....this time you are already upset. All the little things have been weighing you down more than you know. Maybe they're not little things? Maybe just maybe it is something big? Something that to you, is one of the most important things? I don't have an answer. People get upset, and people get angry, all I know is God is the only one who can help you take away your anger. And even then you have to WANT Him to take it. well..... self ... that is all for know. I will write more to myself later.

Take it Easy -Phillip

WOW!

It has been over a month since my last post...man, where does time go...well anyways...The day after my last post. ie Christmas, I hurt my knee pretty bad, it was totally dislocated and swollen, and it hurt. Well, I finally got X rays but the doctor said it didn't show anything conclusive. So that means i have to make another appointment to have an MRI scheduled. And yesterday, my big toe nails (aka the Toenails of Evil) were really bothering me again. I've had them removed by doctors about 6 or more times. So, I decided that I was over qualified to perform such a procedure on myself....but I did it anyway. So, know my knee isn't hurting too bad, but my big toe..the left one to be exact, is really hurting. I know that sounds like it was a stupid idea, but if I didn't remove it, it would constantly hurt me all day, every time i take a step, so yeah. That's about it in my world.